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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Still Steadily Running That Mouth

It's time to eat my words .... guess what arrived in the mail yesterday??? Birthday cards for Tommy and Marissa from their other Grandma (Brent's mom). I'm really glad she did that. I was convinced she only acknowledged Casie's birthday and I was so relieved to see two cards in the mail (even though Tommy's birthday was in April). For my children's sake, I really hope she reaches out to my kids and forms a relationship with them before it's too late.

I had the kids call her to thank her for the card and most of the conversation went well until she asked Marissa how her mom and dad are doing. She said "good" Then, she asked, "do you see your dad a lot?" and Marissa said "yes". Casie grabbed the phone from her and said "We don't see our dad at all." And her Grandma said "Well, that's weird. I thought the judge said your mom was supposed to let that happen." Seriously??!? Why would you say that to a child??? Casie handled it well and said "Well, I gotta go. Love you. Bye!" Then, she asked to speak to my mom.

Most of that conversation was about the kids and how they are doing in school, then it was small talk about how each other was doing. Grant it, the poor lady only knows what her son is telling her. Maybe she doesn't know that every time he moves his mouth, another lie shoots out. I kind of feel sorry for her. She's actually not in the very best of health and her ignorant son isn't helping the situation at all.

Speaking of him, I kept getting an invite to Zoosk. Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to see what it was. Apparently, it's a dating site. Not only did Brent request to add me, but so did his alias name "Bob Jones". Really? What's that all about?

That jerk still continues to call from a blocked call. For some one to claim they are so tuff, he sure does a lot of hiding behind caller id and unverified text. If he has balls to continue to break the domestic violence order (DVO), why hide?!? Maybe his berries aren't as big as he thinks. Just saying.

Let's just say a "reliable" source told me that Brent claimed I never did any of the house work, never cooked, never took care of the children and that it was him who would wake up and do the late night feedings, and how I never gave him any attention. Come on! The funny thing is, he told me the same thing about his ex. So, let's clear this up right now. First off, to this day he has never given the children a bath NOR has EVER been left alone with them. I never wanted to wake him up in the middle of the night, because I didn't want to disturb his sleep to maintain a balance with his bipolar disorder. Therefore, when it comes to the children - another lie from him. They know who does "everything", and that's really all that matters to me. House work? Are we really going there? I always had cookouts and people over, I guarantee if you ask any of them what the house looked like, they would all say clean and in order. Odds are, if you walk in that house right now, you would be able to clarify that response. Cooking?!? I love to cook, and since I left him I've actually learned to grill too! Now I will give him credit, when Brent cooked - it was good. But, getting him off his lazy ass was always a different story. I remember going to our Primary Care Physician one time and straight up asked her, "I thought crack heads were active?!? He doesn't cook, clean, or do anything!" And not that it really matters, but giving him attention? I felt like I had 4 kids when he was in my life. I made sure his medication was taken, diet followed, appointments made, I took care of the children, house and bills, laid his clothes out, sewed stuff that needed repairs, cleaned his credit report, and blah, blah, blah. But, most importantly, I was faithful! Don't mean to toot my own horn on being a good wife, but toot-toot-magoots! I WAS!

It really doesn't bother me that he talks crap about me. It just shows where his mind lays. But, for the one that's reading this and has dated, or considering dating him. Prepare yourself. The dude is like a broken record and as my former brother-in-law once told me, "history repeats itself". So, there's your warning! For a person to do this to two wives and six children - you aren't different, and you're not going to change him. But, by all means - have at it.

Life improves every day. Sure, it's like a roller coaster - you never know when you have your up's and down's. But, I've come a long way and can actually feel myself able to let go a little more each day. And I find myself actually laughing more. The nightmares aren't happening as often as they used to. And learning to handle stressful situations is becoming a little easier (minus the church episode the other day - lol).

It does get easier. Of course, I'll probably always be "damaged goods" from this whole traumatic experience and it will take a real man to break my walls down. But, I haven't given up on love. And I hope that one day, I can find true happiness and know what a real marriage is like. If you are reading this and have found that in your partner, know how blessed you are and be sure to let him/her know as well.

God Bless and Much Love!

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