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Monday, September 17, 2012

Flying Solo

Today, we reached the 16,000 mark on hits!!! Yay!!!

So, yesterday ..... where do I begin?!?!?

We woke up early and I made breakfast for the kids, they had their baths/showers, and off to church we went. Things were going so well, I should have known something was up. At mass, my children do what's called the "children's mass" and they are gone for about a half an hour. During that time is when I can find some inner peace and really dedicate that time to my faith.

However, upon their return - that inner peace was out the window! Marissa kept making this noise. I tried everything to get her to stop, but nothing was working. I bent over to offer some sort of bribery (which I normally don't do, but I was desperate) and Tommy yanked my pants down. Yes! In church, everyone that sat behind me saw my freakin' bare butt! I turned around to make sure it wasn't anyone I know and all I saw was this lady laughing hysterically. I don't blame her, I would have been too. BUT, being on the other side - I WAS MORTIFIED!!! At this point, I was threatening these kids to behave. Poor Casie didn't want to feel left out, so she started. Normally, my mom goes with me, but yesterday I was flying solo and going absolutely nuts!!! One of the other mother's turned around and said something with a big smile, but I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't really tell what she was saying. I'm sure it was some words of encouragement, or maybe she could tell my blood pressure was through the roof. Marissa's teacher even turned to try to help and offer paper and pencils. Before I was a parent, I remember thinking "I will never be like that" or "I'll never let me kids ...". Well, guess what?!?! I ate those freakin' words today.

Later that afternoon, my family was getting together to celebrate the "September" birthday's and I knew that I needed to go to the grocery. I called my mom with a desperate plea to go with me after leaving church early, explaining everything that took place. She was dying laughing about the "butt" thing and offered for me to drop the kids off with her for me to run my errands in peace. Which, I gladly accepted her offer.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch and I was able to enjoy some family time. But, I guarantee, that trip to the grocery was what I needed to chill out. Of course, my mom gave the kids the "talk" and they listened. When I walked in the door, I heard a lot of "I'm sorry, mommy". My response was "Thank you, but sorry doesn't mean anything if your actions don't change." We will see.

At bed time, we have a normal routine on school nights to get everything ready and laid out for the next morning. Casie couldn't find her glasses. We literally tore the house apart looking for them with no luck. When their bedtime approached, I had no other choice then to send them to bed and hoped for a miracle. Once they were all asleep, I finally broke down. I was a sobbing mess! All I could think was how in the world am I going to replace these glasses? I know the kid can't see and has to wear them at school. Since, my sperm donor (aka, the children's "father") hasn't paid child support since March, things have been very tight and most of my money is spoken for through the tuition. The insurance only pays for one pair, one time a year, so I didn't know what to do. At some point, you just have to let go and hope for the best. And that's what I did. Luckily, I was able to fall asleep.

This morning I woke up and guess what I found? Casie's glasses! Maybe my prayers were answered!I've always been told that God only gives you what you can handle. After yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder if he knows what he's doing. I'm not that strong and not sure I can take much more! Maybe he does, I've made it this far and I'm not giving up now!

So, if you're reading this and feel like I do, hang in there - it has to get better, right?!?!

God Bless and Much Love!


  1. I'm dying. The butt thing hahaha

    and i need to know WHERE WERE THE GLASSES!?!

  2. Believe me, girl, I was dying too!!! Note to self, stand on the back wall from now on!!! Ha-ha-ha!!! As far as the glasses, she sleeps in the top of a bunk bed. I was getting the clothes out for winter and started a bag to donate to the goodwill. It wasn't quite full, so I tucked it under the ladder to fill the next day. Apparently, the glasses fell from her bed into that freakin bag.