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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Brent and the New Girlfriend Have Joined the Blog

Well, I didn't expect to write back so soon but I wanted to welcome "Brent" and his new girlfriend to my blog community. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone sent you the link and it's ok, after all I did make it public. So, welcome! Even though this is a direct violation of the EPO (keep in mind that third party contact is included), I'm going to let that slide. You see (to the girlfriend), I actually feel sorry for you. Brent is such a manipulative person and genius at convincing anyone of what a wonderful man he "really is" and give the saddest, as you say  "pitty" party, to make you want to help him. But, he's did the same to two wives and six children. I can warn you that he's going to do it to you, but if you are anything like me, you won't listen. I hope for your sake I'm wrong, but the odds are stacked against you sweetheart. Just try to refrain yourself from getting deep in the game like I did. I understand this so well because I was in your shoes at one point. From girl to girl, I know that you wrote the comment, but I also know that "Brent" was there and put his input in because some of the stuff he has directly said to me.

With that being said, this is what I do .... blog, as you know, so I feel its important to the individuals in my community to re-post your comment and address it. They spend their time reading and following, so it's only fair they see the good, the bad, and the ugly. But, before I go any further he's all your's. I had that and as a classy woman I wish the best of luck to you, but please don't feel that I'm a threat to your relationship because I wouldn't take him back for all the money in the world. I am sincere when I say if you are the one to straighten him up, more power to you, I hope you can because there's 6 children out there rooting for you. 

Oh yeah, one more thing. I better add that since I created this blog I do have the option of investigating any messages and where they are sent from. In fact, I'm looking at your IP address right now. So, for future meetings, let's try to keep it clean for the kiddos. Thanks babe! And one more thing, things like this make my numbers skyrocket! You're a genius!!! Thanks again for the help.


For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, apparently on January 23rd, 2012 the following message was posted to my blog. The information in blue is my thoughts and responses.

And the angel said upon to them fear not: for, behold. I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to ALL people. For unto you is born this day Da'vid a savior. Which is Christ the Lord. (My first thought is, oh good I have really connected with my religion and I can't wait to see what this person's insight is ....)

Perhaps you should read this in the New Testament. You both took vows, "In sickness and in health until death do you part." Clearly you both have made many fatal errors which will only result in harm to your "three little angels." (I'm sure this statement is correct and God Bless those three little angels.) Relationships end and adults fight over worldly, monetary goods and in its entirety, this will only punish your children. (You are correct! That's why I let my attorney do the wonderful job that she is doing and why my children are not aware of the details of what we are fighting over.) Although your blog is one-sided, (Again, this statement is true - I've been straightforward from the get go that this is MY experience, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that there's two sides to every story, but since you couldn't read between the lines and as Brent always said "assuming makes an ass out of you and me" .... my apologies. Attention Everyone: This blog is one sided .... my sided!) and a tragic story, I am sure you played a VERY large role in all of it. (I thought of it, but thank God I learned from the Alanon classes that no one is to blame for this disease, except for the person that is using. Oh, and my Psychologist helped a bunch too!)  In your lack of understanding addiction and your unwillingness to help your "loved one," you are just as guilty as the addict. (Fair enough, I tried everything that I could take and I couldn't take anymore. So, yes I threw in the towel on my loved one. And as far as my lack of understand, again, you are right. I know what a crack head is and I don't want to be one, and that's all I really need to know at this point.) I too, live with an addict, (God love you, you must be a very strong person to deal with it. I wasn't that strong.) however I took the effort to inform myself and continue the counseling. Support is the biggest key to living with and loving an addict. I have read your blog and nowhere in there does it say that you attended Al-anon nor did it say that you provided any kind of support. (Oh honey, keep reading my blog you must have missed where I wrote about attending family nights at his rehab programs, I work very close with my Primary Care Physician and Psychologist, and I did attend some classes on my own and it taught me that I wasn't to blame and it was time to let go). You should have been looking at Narcanon.com and Narcotics Anonymous. Many of your problems or your loved one's relapses stems from your lack of knowledge and slamming the diseased person is no way to go about it, (Well, I hate to admit it but you are right again it's not appropriate to slam a sperm doner that's why I took such measures to really hold back on what I really wanted to say.) yes, addiction is a disease. (I agree, but he knew what a crack head is - why would he want that label? Just a thought.) Support, support, support is most important since, once and addict, always and addict and relapse can be triggered by any given situation. (Yes I noticed that his given situation just happened to be every waking moment.) You spoke of taking your own life and him taking his. You had him locked up in a mental institution. Yet you didn't seek help, did you? (Yes, I did. I had to. I wanted to take my life, but I knew I couldn't because I didn't want my children raised by a crack head.) Then you speak of not having anything, (I don't, but I have damn good friends and family and that, to me, is more important then anything.) but when grandpa's money comes into play (I guess it would appear that way, however I dearly loved my Father-In-Law and I make sure that his legacy lives on in my children. "Casie" loves to hear the stories I tell of him, especially the first time he held her. It's actually an adorable story - good idea for a future blog post.), you decide to stick it out? Or did you mean, drag out the divorce until you could get your hands on that estate. (There's not much of that estate left since Brent smoked it up and paid whores.Brent hasn't paid any of his child support yet either, keep reading you'll hear about that next week after the hearing.) You talk about the reversal from rags to riches, it sounds to me like you only wanted money. (As my brother in law always tells me, oppinions are like ass holes and every one's got one. That's your right and more power to you to voice that right.) You go on with your pitty party on the Internet for all to see, when you should be supporting your husband and helping him in his recovery and you will see "that man that you loved so much." (I guess you are right, but I don't want to see that guy anymore. To me, I mourned the death of that guy. He's not coming back. This new guy, I don't dig too much.) Then, in your last blog you say he has a girlfriend and yet he's picking you up in a limo with a new dress, necklace and ring? (Again, it is factual, I can prove not only the text pages and emails, but also the tracking information to both.) Sounds to me like he's already moved on and far over you! (Cool! I've been waiting to hear that so could you ask him to please leave me alone. He lost his visitation rights, due to his addiction. AND, I have an EPO on the creep, so there's really no need for communication. Npw is there? Hmmmm. Just another thought.) But there you go again, speaking of not having anything, yet you get to go to the SAG Awards? (I'm sorry if you misunderstand. Yes, he invited me, but just so we are clear I wouldn't go ANYWHERE with him, so I declined the offer.) Sounds so pitiful that you actually have convinced yourself he still wants you. (I'm sorry that's what you think I meant, but clearly he doesn't want his self to be a crack head so I know he doesn't want me. I can't help him, so I'm no good for him.) You need HELP!!!!! (Thanks for the help, sweet pea. I do and I am getting it. Thanks for stating the obvious.

With all that being said, I hope that no one thinks I'm trying to slam any one. I'm just responding and blogging, as I was set out to do. I appreciate ANY comment good or bad and I encourage all to post what they think. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made a comment section. Right? Now, I do want to give another person props for sticking up for me. This is what Bethany wrote:

I also read the blog regularly and all the stuff you are writing makes no since. Are you even reading the right blog? She does state that she attended Alanon and she is far from a gold digger because the gold diggers I know would never pay 1500 every month to there husbands ex wife for alimony. I to was with an addict who is now in prison for 8 years, there is only so much a person can take u can only change yourself, as far as her taking the vows dont act like you are perfect it is 2012 Divorce does exist Let God judge its not your place to throw judgement on no one. Also those 3 kids didnt make those vows and thats who she is protecting..

Thanks girl! I appreciate you taking time out of your life to follow my blog! Much love and God Bless!

5 comments:

  1. Well I am glad she is a treatment center and she knows all there is to know about addiction being one she is herself. Obviously by the way she speaks. Speaking of sickness and support but the addict has to take NO responsibility? Sounds to me as if she had done what many addicts do and go from a drug addiction to an addiction with the Lord, that's not a slam that is a statistic. Guilty? Of what? Trying to hold a house, a marriage, and 3 kids together all the while him locked in the basement smoking crack and throwing things, punching holes in the wall in his fits of rage?? Attempting to isolate you from your friends by calling them at their job at a REHAB FACILITY and threatening their life? Like I told your Mother I was here before this nut and he's not running me off!! I knew what he was trying to do and its called EMOTIONAL ABUSE. If this chick knows so much she should take VanVondern's job on Intervention or at least watch the show!! The Betty Ford Clinic counsels the enabler and teaches them to set firm boundaries and limits. Makes them understand there is a difference between enabling and support. The world is supposed to stop and the kids sit in limbo while this retard smokes crack and tries to make some sort of decision?? I think not. You know I NEVER voiced my opinion on what you should do, I supported you after the Florida treatment center gave you advice, change the basement, change the house so it won't be a trigger when he comes home, if that's what you want. The problem was the word trigger doesn't mean excuse. "The baby is crying it triggered me to smoke crack" or "the phone rang and that triggered me". There is a difference, which most addicts don't get. Some of you go into rehab and say "Oh I relapsed because I was triggered" the therapist asks you "well tell me about that, what was the trigger?" the addict answers "I saw the color brown and it reminded me of a crack pipe, every time I see the color brown" THAT IS NOT A TRIGGER THAT IS AN EXCUSE!! That is advice from a licensed, trained PROFESSIONAL that actually WORKS and GETS PAID MONEY in the field of addiction and mental health disorders, not a former addict that thinks she knows it all cause she smoked crack.

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    1. Tell me how you really feel ... thanks Jazzie for always having my back. You are my girl!

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  2. If she knew half as much as she thinks she did she would leave him alone to work on HIMSELF before trying to have any type of relationship with him. That is generally why husband/wife addicts are separated during treatment and not allowed to communicate. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first!! I have always told you I support you no matter what your decision throughout this whole mess and never tried to convince you one way or the other, it's your life I will always be here. Oh, and since I am a LICENSED, TRAINED professional specializing in addiction and mental health you have all the counseling you will ever need for free, cause "I ain't going nowhere".
    One more thing who asked you? You weren't around, you actually believe what an ADDICT is telling you, I mean who are you? Nobody cares what you think, nobody cares how you feel mind your own business and work on yourself. This doesn't even concern you. I was the one around I witnessed everything that went on the 206 phone calls in 2 hours I love you..I hate you...don't leave me, the threats, the lies, I distinctly remember once being told I had $20 bucks in my mailbox where I had to buy diapers for one of the kids. I still can't find that $20 bucks. The emotional turmoil and abuse, anyone living through that would have some PTSD as well as depression issues. Here's some free advice stay on your side of the street and stop looking over C's fence complaining her grass is too tall. Use your energy for something else. In lamest terms MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, yes the Blog is one sided. IT'S HER BLOG!!! God bless her for it instead of turning to drugs or alcohol she is releasing years of hurt in a way that is therapeutic for HER. I told her to write a book maybe she still will. Look for it on Amazon on your Kindle if he don't pawn it and smoke it up. Here's a hint... "ummm I think I saw it in the car, I saw it somewhere, it will turn up" that is a direct quote. Bank on this if you hear that whatever you are looking for is long gone and will NEVER resurface! ~~~Jasmine

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  3. I have read this from start to finish (yes I'm suppose to be working, but there was no stopping). Your drive as a woman and a mother to keep your family together and safe is empowering. In my humble opinion, you have more of which to be proud than to be ashamed. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  4. Thank you so much! I hope that you continue to follow me through this crazy journey. Disney has taught me that "happily ever after" does exist and I'm (hopefully) going to prove it. :)

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