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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Comment from Sunny Florida

Here's a comment I received from Pat. I would like to thank him for this message. Anytime I receive a comment from a reader, I'm so grateful. It helps me see another view and gives me an opportunity to improve on my writing skills. His message is in black and my response is in parenthesis in blue.

pats4real (http://pats4real.livejournal.com/) has left a new comment on your post "I Passed!! Bring on the next one!!":

I like your blog. Very informative. (Awww! That's so sweet! Thank you!)  I think you need to be more objective than subjective though. what I mean is this just seems to one sided to believe everything. For instance I do not see where the above comment is blogged. (Sorry for the confusion. This message was not posted to my blog (other then me copying and pasting. It was actually posted on another website.) Might be my error though not being that Internet literate. You didn't answer the question though. Do you have a degree or not ? (No, I do not have a degree. I'm currently working on my Associate of Science in Justice and Public Safety degree.) There is a big difference between being a student and obtaining a degree let alone multiple degrees. I see in your latest post that you just finished a final exam. For what type of degree. Associates, Bachelor, Masters etc... Do you have any professional training or background in areas of mental health or addiction ? (Not professional, but a lot of personal.)  Sounds like you both need some help here. (You are right! I had to not only seek medical help, but also spiritual guidance. I feel that I have come a really long way, as was stated in previous posts.)  I will stay tuned in but please be clear about information you state as fact. (I will work on that. Thanks for the suggestion. However, on stuff that I claim as fact - it can be easily verified. However, 99% of my blog is based on my opinion of the events that has taken place this far.) Some of it just seems a little far fetched for an educated couple that you both seem to be. As a father I could not have imagined not being able to see my children as they grew up. I am sure this must be very difficult for him, issues aside or not. (You would think, but I'm really not sure how it effects him. If it was me, I would do whatever it took to be in my children's life.) For you as a mother this must be gut wrenching knowing you have to be both parents. (At times, it's overwhelming, but I'm confident that I can do it!)  My opinion is that you are both wrong. You for not supporting him to stay clean and him for not being stand up parent. (I supported him for one year after I found out about his drug use, and that's after the fact that I walked in on him and some woman in my house. I cannot support him, when he doesn't want the help. I tried everything in my power, but when I found out that my children may be in danger is the second I stopped supporting him! You never know what you will do until you are faced with the situation. It's easy to say what should or shouldn't happen. Believe me, I learned a lot about "true friend/family" over this course of this period. However, if I knew he hit rock bottom and really wanted the help, I would help him! Hands down, I really am his biggest fan! Until then, there is nothing I can do.)  I think you both should put your heads together and work as parents for your children as they are in probably the most important years of their lives. CC do you really not want them to know their father no matter what his mistakes are ? (Truthfully, yes! I believe a father is very, very important in a child's life. But, until he can get straight - no I don't want him around them. I don't want them to see him like that, but more importantly I'm terrified for them to be around him. But, at this point, it's not up to me. It was the judge who ruled the children would be in serious danger around him and that's why his visitation was rescinded.) Brent if what CC has written in this blog is really factual what is wrong with you. You are obviously an educated man. (I can't speak for him, but I will confirm what you are saying - he is very well educated man!)

You both need to support each other as parents so your children don't continue to pay the price for both of your differences.

I am lucky as I re-married my wife, the mother of my children after we divorced. Maybe both of you should consider the same as you both need support albeit for different problems. (Congratulations! I love to hear stories of true love actually working out. You are very blessed! However, this is not in the cards for Brent and I. There is no way we will ever work out. Too many deep, deep scars there, along with a lack of trust. I love him for the fact that he's my children's father, but that's it. There's nothing left between us emotionally or romantically.)

Good luck to both of you from sunny FL.


Again, thanks for the comment! Please, any one, feel free to leave more comments. I will feature all of them - good or bad and respond to each. God Bless to all and much love.

4 comments:

  1. Ok. now I am pissed. How are you gonna put your head together with a crack head that doesn't know where he is 1/2 the time?? What does having a degree have to do with anything?? What is this MF'ers qualifications to make a mental health assessment? Brent is an educated man yes but a CRACK HEAD!! What kind of parent wants that around their children?? As far as if this blog is true..it most definitely is! I was around for the fighting, the guilt trips, the crack smoking, the "I love you, I hate you don't leave me" bs, the "I'm gonna kill myself so don't come over here then you show up with the cops and nobody is home but a note on the table talking about how much you hate me. I was there for ALL OF THAT!!! The EPO's, the 75 phone calls an hour screaming in the phone that "I'm going to kill you", hell you can ask MY husband this nut and to call him and apologize for calling me at work and threatening ME at the rehab facility that he bounced in and out of. I am a well educated person as well and worked as a nurse in the rehab facility that Brent chose to frequent basically so that he could try to get me to pass messages to CC, ‘tell her I’m doing better” but on day 2 when that craving hit, he left. He had some hold on CC that's for sure. Who are you to say this is not true, half of it is her feelings and opinions anyways, how can you say THOSE are not fact? Go on somewhere, plus who asked you? He never had good intentions and if I was CC I would do exactly what his 1st wife did with their 4 kids…get as far away from him as possible. I mean use some common sense guy he has 6 kids that he is not allowed to see, one ex-wife is in a totally other state! Coincidence I think not.

    CC is merely writing about her life experiences, if you don’t like them don’t read them, but how DARE you attempt to give her a guilt trip about her kids and them not seeing their father! That is HIS choice, he is the one putting that crack pipe to his mouth every day. I would like to know your qualifications sir, what extensive training or education have you had in the chemical dependency/mental health field and we can compare our resume. I guarantee I will come out ahead because your statements are misleading and irresponsible at best. At least watch intervention before you make assessments, I mean she is supposed to enable him some more? Let this girl write what she wants its HER outlet, her diary, she can write about how she felt when the sun came up, read it or leave it but, you can't critique it you weren't there who was? Oh yeah ME!

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  2. Oh Jazzie! Everyone needs a friend like you!! You are the best!!! Love ya, girl!

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  3. CC I am glad to see you posted my response on your blog. You provided clarity to a number of questions that I had. I know it is difficult to remain objective with such difficult and emotional topics such as divorce, mental health and addiction. Your responses do give credibility to your cause.

    I was sorry to read the response by your so called friend (I suppose from his / her statements) Jassie. With your clarity and continually developing structure back to your life this is not the kind of support you need. Your blog demonstrates a continued growth if one simply follows it from inception to present.

    Jassie I am not going to engage you as you have demonstrated a complete lack of social knowledge and accept ion pertaining to the areas of mental health and addiction. Your defensive posture is hindrance to CC’s evolution as a single parent. As far as educational back ground, you are a nurse per your own admission. I was educated at John’s Hopkins’s University in Baltimore, Maryland and have a Masters degree in Clinical Sociology. I am board certified to practice in both states of Maryland and Florida. I certainly hope you were not a nurse directly employed for the care of Brent while he was in a rehabilitation center. While this is not illegal by any means it is most certainly an ethics violation of no fewer than three codes in any state. This leads me to believe you are not who you claim to be. Generally people such as you prove to be a hindrance to the persons (CC and Brent in this case) mental health and well being by not peeling the onion away to get to the root of causes. In this case addiction and Bi-polar disorder. Both are diseases and if you truly are a certified medical professional you would recognize this without your personal opinions. You have chosen one of them to support and have provided severely perhaps slanderous information about the other. This is common occurrence in situations such as this from non medically trained people. I have read several comments by you in this blog and they all have the same demeanor. Perhaps you need to evaluate your own life prior to involving yourself in another’s. This is a common occurrence called subjective displacement. The subject, you Jassie, does this due to problems in their own life they don’t want to deal with. Additionally, I find it highly improbable that a person could make 75 phone calls in 1 hour. Statements like these are a complete exaggeration of what may be a fact but only hurt the credibility of this blog that CC has developed. Maybe you need to think prior to typing.

    CC, sorry to take a rude and demeaning tone to one of your followers. You have worked hard on this blog yet even harder on restoring your life. Comments like Jassie’s only degrade the credibility of your work especially after you responded to my initial comment with additional facts and opinions. Sorry but this person is not helping your cause with exaggerations and with contradictions in the same sentence.

    Sorry if I made you feel guilty about Brent not seeing his children. That was not my intent by any means and clarified why he is not.

    I will stay tuned in.

    Good luck from sunny FL.

    Pat

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  4. Hi Pat!! I'm glad I was able to clarify some questions for you. Blogging is still very new to me and sometimes I let my emotions take over and tend to leave out things. So, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. My whole reasoning for this is to help anyone I can, therefore I try to feature everyone's comments. When I get more hits, it inspires me to continue. Especially with comments.

    As far as Jazzie goes, she's actually a very amazing person. We've known each other for years and have been through so much together. I can vouch that she is an extremely intelligent person and has a heart of gold. In all honesty, she probably thought you were Brent trying to pose as someone else, so try not to take it personal. She's the best friend anyone could have and I'm very blessed to have her in my life.

    Again, thank you for staying tuned in and I hope I hear from you again in the future! Have a great day (lucky dog in sunny Florida!!!)!!!

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