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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Its finally over ... or is it?

OK ... so, my photo shoot took place yesterday. I was a little nervous, but my aunt went with me and the two ladies that worked for the company were so cool and made it easier for me. With that being said, I have a whole new respect for models ... that can be rather nerve racking. Their goal was to catch a dramatic shot, then we tried for a softer one, and last kind of "I'm a Survivor" look. I never saw any of the actual photos, but I'm anxious to see what the final spread looks alike. The office, on the other hand, was really cool to see. The walls were lined with magazine covers. It was a very professional, yet comforting atmosphere. The room we were in was more like the photo room. It had very cool props sitting around, but the majority of the room was filled with very neat expensive photography equipment. Although, I am not happy with my looks - this was definitely an experience that I will NEVER forget and feel honored that I was chosen for this opportunity.
Yesterday, I met with my attorney for the prep stuff for today's trial. She's really cool and knows that the whole "court system" makes me nervous because I've never had experience with it. So, she basically went over our material that we would present. Her advise was simple: tell the truth and you can't get tripped up, make eye contact, remain calm, and be respectful. If you know me, I always try to be respectful to everyone and as far as truth - at times, I can be brutally honest. However, I've never been good with making eye contact and like I said staying calm was a little difficult because of the unfamiliar grounds of the court room.

My aunt came to town and spent the night. She's very aware of my fear for Brent, so we stayed up a little late just doing "girl talk". Before I went to bed I told her that if he was going to do something to me, I felt it would happen before the trial. And my last famous words to her was "I'm going to bed - if the little dog barks, it's probably nothing. If the big one barks, something or someone is around the house that shouldn't be." At about 2:30am, my big ferocious puppy jumped from my bedding barking like crazy and ran downstairs and continued barking, but wouldn't remove his eyes from the front door. Honestly, a few minutes before that I kicked the remote off the bed and thought it was just that. I called for him to come back, which normally if it's nothing he does as he's told. Only this time, he got back in the bed and literally 2 seconds later he took off running, this time growling and a scarier bark. I could have sworn I heard my aunt scream, so without thinking I ran to her rescue. My children woke up and was terrified! When I got to my aunt, she was fine. Apparently, she never screamed but she was just as freaked out as the rest of us. We never found out what the dog was barking at, but after checking the premise it was clear. Also, throughout the night I literally had 11 missed calls from a "Blocked" call. Of course, the "blocked" caller isn't supposed to be calling, but denied it was him.

After not much sleep, my dad woke us up and took us out for breakfast at Barbara Lee's where we met my other aunt and uncle. If you are local, this restaurant has awesome breakfast food but their staff is so much more awesome. Apparently, my parents are regulars because when they walk in they already have their drink on the table waiting for him. I can't say enough about them, they are just a good group of people. I always get tickled at this one lady, when my kids go in there, she tries her hardest to make Marissa talk to her, but my little baby is just too shy, and this lady isn't going to give up. It's really cute. Anyway, with all the craziness of getting ready to go to trial - I walked off and left my cell phone on the table. Thank goodness, the workers found it and put it in a safe place for me until I could return.

So, I arrived at the court house. My nerves were going crazy. I felt like instead of butterflies in my stomach, it was more like a vampire or something. It was crazy. Thank goodness I had support with me because otherwise I probably would have freaked the freak out! We sat in the lobby waiting the arrival of my attorney, but Brent was the next to arrive. Completely by his self. I was shocked because in other court document's it stated that his big, dumb friend, the guy that married us, and one of his former co-worker were going to testify on Brent's behalf. He looked very aged. I felt kind of sorry for him and wish that I could of said "look what the drugs are doing to you - you look awful - please stop", but not only would that be rude, but it's best that we do not communicate. Next my attorney arrived, and then his ... wheeling in like 3 boxes of files. We proceeded with the trial. It was supposed to be a nine hour trial, but luckily it only took about two hours. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. At the end of the day, I'm a divorced woman ... but it's not official until the judge does his thing and the clerk submits it. If I walk away without a penny, I still feel I came out a winner. I got what's most important - sole custody of my beautiful babies and his visitation will remain rescinded until he can submit to a clean hair follicle. In all honesty, I pray that its his wake up call and that for his children's sake, as well as his own, he can get clean of drugs and become the person that I know he can be.

It's behind me and I can finally move on with life. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and that I finally have the freedom to walk ahead. But, there's still the "blog" ... it was brought up and his attorney kind of complimented me on it. However, they are asking that it gets shut down. The judge hasn't ruled yet, but I'm hoping that my freedom to speech will come into play. This blogs purpose is to help other's in my shoes, not to hurt anyone. That's why I used fictitious names to protect the identity of others. We have over 12,000 hits from all over the world, the mayor recognized it and designated a day in Louisville to me, the local media has hit on it (but I was never able to give a face to face interview), and now a magazine, which will be later announced, is doing a story on it. Keep your fingers crossed that I can continue my journey with all of you. Stay tuned because (hopefully) there will be more to come.

God Bless and Love to All of You!!!

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