Sunday, January 8, 2012
A drug addict is a very manipulative person. If I had a penny for every time that I told someone that Brent would make it big in Hollywood, I would be a millionaire. He’s a true actor and very believable.
Brent called my mom crying one day telling her that he needed help. He recognized his drug problem and needed someone to take him back to the hospital. He loved her and felt that he had more of a relationship with her then his own mother. Of course, she fell victim to his game and went to pick him up to deliver him to the mental hospital. He begged her to stay because he was turning over a new leaf and wanted her to hear everything. The nurse started with the assessment and one of the questions was “when did you first start using?’. His answer “fourteen”! Fourteen?!? Are you freaking kidding me? I will be the first to admit; I drank my fair share of alcohol and smoked pot during my time before children. But, the second I found out I was pregnant – I quit everything; including smoking cigarettes. Yes, I have an occasional drink or two but my children come before anything! And nothing on this Earth is worth putting their life in jeopardy or losing them over.
After he was admitted, Brent turned to my mom and gave her the keys and requested that she take care of the house and dog while he was hospitalized. Upon our arrival, which might I add was very scary, I was mortified. The house was so filthy – I took my dog. It wasn’t suitable for her to live in, much less a human being. The electricity bill wasn’t paid, so there were no lights. The smell was so nasty that most people that entered ended up stepping outside sick. Sex toys were literally everywhere! It was apparent that Brent never let the dog out to use the bathroom – urine and fecal matter filled the floors. My home, that once was beautiful, was now a crack house. One of our visits, we felt there was someone upstairs hiding, because the smell of crack was very fresh. I ran around the house and gathered some of my belongings, mostly the children’s clothes, toys, and memorabilia. The things that I took had that foul odor in them, so it really wasn’t feasible of taking too much. I started looking through the mail and found where there was lien after lien on the property and that the mortgage company started the foreclosure proceedings, bills from Victoria’s Secret that totaled several hundred dollars. Receipts of cash checking companies that charged 200% interest. And then, here was the killer. When I stepped outside, the neighbors from streets away greeted me to tell that Sex Crime Detectives have questioned all of them about Brent, there were several different women taking residence in the house, and that the drug dealers still pulled in the garage to make their deals and then would be on their merry way. The police were very familiar with the house and seemed to be there at least once a week. If you listened close, you could hear my heart shatter in five million pieces. I knew that I was no longer dealing with the Brent I once knew and loved. This was a new person and a real monster. Brent’s father had worked his entire life to make sure his boys were taking care of and the estate that was well over a million dollars – literally went up in smoke, dwindling away to next to nothing!
After I collected my thoughts, I knew what I had to do. My first step was to go to the Internal Revenue Service to see where we actually stood with the taxes. Guess what? They weren’t filed since 2008 and Brent made some error in claiming his children from his past marriage from 2006 and we owed money – A LOT of money. Although, I could have played the injured spouse card, my main concern was to bring everything current. I filed married, filing separate claiming my children, and then took what little money I had and paid what was owed from the back taxes. The IRS was so nice! They really worked with me and even cut some of the penalty charges. Since mine and Brent’s taxes were filed before together, they gave me a print out of the income. For 2009, Brent received over $104,000 from one income and $194,000 for another (plus lots more). He had that kind of money and he wasn’t paying any of his bills?!? Was this for real? Literally, there’s one person spending that kind of money, and I had for just myself and the children $6,740 for 2009 and $7,048 for 2010. I couldn’t understand why a man wouldn’t want to take care of his children before his disgusting crack addiction. I mean seriously, the dude has six children and I can say my children never saw a penny of it, and I’m willing to bet my life that the other children didn’t either. By calling him a “dead beat dad” wouldn’t begin to describe this monster!
There was a check on the bar in our kitchen from the insurance company for the Acadia. It was at the local dealership because Brent wrecked it two times since he got it back after it was stolen. One time he blacked out while driving down the road. And the next time, he ran into someone on the expressway. The insurance company obviously dropped him after all of this. I don’t know about you, but after realizing that, I have a new fear when transporting my children around town – wondering if there is someone cracked out driving next to me. Any how, I went to the dealership to get the Acadia back. It was in both of our names, so I had every right to do what I was about to do. I was greeted by the manager who said the repairs were finished and I could take the vehicle as long as I paid the $500 deductible and return the “loaner vehicle”. Whoa! Hold up. Loaner vehicle?!? What!!! Once again, I found myself dropping the same story. It wasn’t long until the J-town Police department was involved. Apparently, the dealership let Brent use one of their vehicles until all of the repairs were completed out of a courtesy, at no charge to him. It was a 2009 Pearl White Pontiac G6. The officer was really concerned because the dealership couldn’t give them any information. At that point, I was like “what do you need? Social? Date of Birth? Height? Weight? What?” I gave them everything. I was so tired of cleaning up his mess, it was time he faced it on his own. Since money was extremely tight, I had to borrow the money from my parents for the deductible. As soon as I got in the Acadia, I drove straight to Carmax and sold that damn thing. I felt, at that point, it was the only way I could protect myself and him. The blue book value for a rough trade in was $19,000. Even though it was like a brand new vehicle after the repairs, they only offered me $12,000 due to the structural damage and the fact the airbags had been deployed. I was so hard up for cash, I accepted the offer. I took that money and paid off the bills that had accumulated on credit cards and what not, plus I was able to pay my parents back since they footed the bill for doctor visits, hospital emergencies, prescriptions, shoes, winter jackets, etc. Every penny was accounted for the second that check cleared the bank. Once again, I was broke, but I was debt free.
Brent’s brother’s wife came to town to see the children. This was something new, but I was accepting of it. I wanted her to see the condition of the home and how Brent was living. While she was there, I gave her some of the items that I knew was from their Grandma. I figured it wasn’t long until the doors get locked from the foreclosure and I felt that stuff was important to salvage. After she left, I gathered up what I could along with his tools and his Grandma’s tea set. My plans all along were to give them back to him – I’m really not the bitch he makes me out to be, but to his brothers’ and to the court, he acts like I stole them. I probably should have, but I’m trying to teach my children that two wrongs don’t make a right, and I just wanted to set a good example.
When Brent was released from the hospital, he started blowing my phone and email up. It was yet another suicide attempt on his part. Only this time, he claimed he was going to do it outside of my parents’ house, so that every time I would pull in their drive way the children and I would be reminded that because I wouldn’t come back and keep our family together, he had to kill his self. I feel like a broken record, but once again I called the police and told them what was going on. They sent two officers to his house and two to mine. The LMPD officers were able to catch him at the marital residence and asked him what was up. He claimed he was just mad and blowing off steam. The police officer that was with me told me he’s dealt with crack addiction; in fact, he was a narcotics officer in New York City and suggested that I go downtown and file another EPO. I did as he said, and guess what, this time the judge saw through Brent’s bull shit and granted it for three years. He is not allowed to contact me in anyway and has to be at least 500 feet from me at all time.
When you are dealing with a sociopath like I am, that really doesn’t mean anything. He was always able to find a way to get through. And all of his messages said the same thing that he was sorry and loved me and would never put me through it again. Yet, while he was typing it he was hugged up with a crack whore or a fellow junkie!
The children’s Christmas show at school came around and lo and behold, father of the year was sitting front row. I could see the excitement in my children’s eyes and since they are still too young to know what’s going on, I didn’t want to be the one to ruin in. I kept my distance and although I was very angry that he had balls to show up without even putting one penny towards the tuition and despite the fact that he was ONCE AGAIN in violation of the EPO, I let it slide. It wasn’t the time or place to cause a scene and I didn’t want any of the children, including my own, to see something like that go down so close to the holidays.
Finally, the day arrived of the “postponed hearing” and I was anxious to see what was about to take place. For some reason, I was under the impression the divorce was going to be final. So, I was literally on the emotional roller coaster!!