Being pregnant with our third child
was crazy! This should have been a time for us to really put our focus on track
and celebrate. I started to recognize there was a problem with drugs, but
really wasn’t sure what drug or even how much. Brent was a professional liar
and he would convince me otherwise. It was hard to talk with just anyone about
it because of the embarrassment, as well as here I was pregnant and they would
think “Wow! She’s bringing another innocent child into this world and is
doubting this guys drug use or not!” A lot of people I’ve known for years
started to drop out of my life one by one. And for the ones that remained, I
felt like I was always defending Brent or talking him up so that people would
like him.
Life was really hard. I still didn’t
work and during the whole short term to long term disability went through –
there was a period where we had no money coming in. I had to end up cashing in
my 401(k) for us to even survive. Since he wasn’t an active employee, he lost
the perk of keeping the lease vehicles so we had to purchase our own. My
parents were very helpful during this time and even gave me their Explorer,
so that we would at least have a second car.
The behavior started to really take a
strange twist. I came home one night and pulled up to the mailbox to find $100
cash and a prepaid phone. When Brent claimed he didn’t know anything about it,
I called the police and was told that they couldn’t do anything because they
didn’t see anything illegal take place and for me to keep the money and go buy
myself something nice. Brent didn’t act like he was scared or nervous and after
the police left, he asked me for the money so he could go get us McDonald’s.
Brent and I tried marriage
counseling, but it was unsuccessful due to the fact that he wouldn’t be honest
or forthcoming. He did admit, however, that he was sniffing cocaine and that’s
why he failed the test, but assured us it was a one time stupid mistake that
would never happen again. And that the money I found in the mailbox was his for
the cocaine! It was about that time I found a number in his phone.
One morning, I went to pick my Mom up
to go shopping and while I was sitting in the driveway waiting for her to come
out, curiosity got the best of me and I called that number. On the other end a
woman answered. I guess I was shocked, yet deep down I kind of expected it. I
hung up immediately because I really didn’t know what to say. But, before I
could even think about it – I pressed send again. When she answered this time,
the conversation went something like this …
Me: Who is this?
Her: Um …. Who is this?
Me: Well, I found your number in my
husband’s phone and wanted to see what the connection was, so how do you know
Brent?
Her: That’s something you have to
take up with him. Bye! [she quickly hung
up]
At that point, my mom got out to the
car. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her because everyone else hated him and I
didn’t want the only one that was left to give up. But, of course, she knew me
too well and started to sense something was up. So, instead of getting into the
whole story I just told her that I found a woman’s number in Brent’s phone and I
wasn’t sure what to expect. Since he was still on short-term medical leave from
his job, he was always home. When I arrived there that afternoon, I told him
what happened and asked who she was. He made up some story about how it was his
friend’s girlfriend and they were having problems, so she kept calling to try
to reach him. Far-fetched, but once again I kind of bought it but was still not
100%, so I called this girl again.
Me: Ok, I called you earlier and
Brent is telling me that you are basically some girl that’s dating his friend
and keep calling.
Her: Yeah, whatever!
I started walking out to the garage
where Brent was smoking a cigarette and put the girl on speaker.
Me: Brent, who is this girl!?!
Obviously, he didn’t realize she was
on the phone and said, “I told you she’s just some whore that won’t leave me
alone.” I walked back inside and continued the phone conversation.
Me: So, did you hear that? I mean you
do realize that this dude has 5 kids, one in which he’s never seen or doesn’t
have his last name, and I’m actually pregnant with his 6th.
Her: I know all about his kids! But,
I didn’t know you were pregnant!
Me: How do YOU know ALL about his
kids? HE doesn’t even know his f---ing kids!
Her: I know a lot more then you
think. I’ve been to your house a bunch of times …. Do you want me to piss on
your front porch, so you can drug test it!”
She had to be telling the truth
because during my questioning, there was times I would go buy those home drug
testing kits and even sent him several times to our family doctor, in which he
seemed to pass every time! Anyway, the conversation went straight to hell from
that point. When we hung up, I was like “Brent, get the hell out of the house!”
I called my friend Mandy who I just started getting really close to. She worked
at the local gas and electric company and came over as soon as her shift was
over. Brent was gone and she was blown away that a man could do this to his
children and his pregnant wife. She watched the kids and told me to get in the
shower and try to calm down. But, how does someone calm down after that?!? So,
we got in the car to take a ride. I drove straight to a hotel that was near the
plant that we worked at because I had a feeling to check there. Brent’s car was
in the lot. I had the spare keys and started going through his car. I remember
not finding much pertaining to the latest drama and finally decided I had to
chill out! I was so exhausted at that point and put the kids in bed with me,
Mandy went home, and I finally started to doze off after dropping a million
tears on my pillow. Throughout the middle of the night, Brent came home and
basically said he wasn’t going anywhere. He slept upstairs and I slept behind
closed doors. The next morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office and
she stated that since Brent had signed a medical release for me, she felt
obligated to tell me that he failed his drug test for cocaine usage. She
continued to tell me that she would have to drop him as a patient because he tested
negative for opiates that she prescribed him and felt that those were being
traded for cocaine.
It was time to do something, I
contacted a lawyer and the following motions were filed:
·
Dissolution
of Marriage – “irretrievably broken and there is no reasonable prospect of
reconciliation”
·
Sole
custody of the children
·
Child
Support
·
Attorney
fees
·
Temporary
Maintenance
It was obvious that Brent wasn’t
going to leave until a court forced him too, so to avoid all the drama and
animosity that was about to take place, I took the children to go spend some
time at my parents house. They were leaving for Florida within the next few
days and thought it would be a good idea for me and the children to join them,
in which we agreed!
The day before we were leaving Brent
came to my parents’ house and took my 2007 GMC Acadia and left his 2005
Explorer in the driveway with no keys. It was a nice SUV, but had high mileage
and since he smoked in it – it really wasn’t the ideal vehicle to take the
children to Florida in. Not to mention, my mom’s cane, garage door opener, and
handicap permit were in there. My mom was concerned for the safety of her
unborn grandchild and was like “Don’t freak out. Contact your attorney and let
him know what happened and in the mean time let’s go to the rental car company
get a vehicle and get the hell out of here!” And so we did!
It was nice; we went to Daytona Beach
and spent a few days there. The party consisted of my parents, my sister,
Elizabeth, her daughter (Gretta) and my crew. The beach was a good distraction
and the children were having a blast! Elizabeth and I were still not talking,
but managed to hide it from the children and not make it miserable for my
parents.
Our next stop on the agenda was
Disney World. That was when Casie started to miss her Daddy and wanted to call
him. When she talked to him, she told him where we were and what we’ve been up
to. After the finished up, she turned to me and said “Daddy wants to talk to
you!” Hesitantly, I got on the phone. He was sobbing like a baby and begging
for my forgiveness. A divorce was the last thing he wanted and would do
anything for his family. He pleaded and begged for my forgiveness and to prove it
to me – he bought a plan ticket and arrived. He had looked into an outpatient
rehab facility and swore he would never talk to another woman if I would just
give him this one chance. I took a lot of things in consideration; the rehab
was a must along with some other demands. Honestly, I knew with his father’s
estate soon entering the picture that it might be worth it for my children’s
sake to once again try!
He showed up at Disney World and was
so sweet and attentive to not only the children, but to me. It was nice to
actually see a glimpse of the man I married and loved. I was convinced he was
back and so excited to put this whole thing to rest and get on with our lives.
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